


2011 Christmas Fics

by Kiterie



Series: Christmas Stories [10]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-02
Updated: 2011-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 21:52:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/666887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiterie/pseuds/Kiterie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-Kyuubi Christmas fics with Naruto oriented themes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Santa's a Ninja and so are his elves

**Author's Note:**

> Summary: MISSION: To deliver toys to all the good little boys and girls.  
> Theme: Those Funny Things They Do in Snow Country  
> Characters: Minato, Young!Kakashi, Rin, and mentions Young!Gai

Minato pulled two green jumpsuits from the bag that he'd been given by the lord who'd hired them. He gave one to Rin and held the other out to Kakashi. "Put this on."

Kakashi eyed the ugly green fabric with its glittery red trim. He looked from his sensei to his teammate.

Rin was already pulling her shoes off. Being the only girl on the team, she wore a skin tight, black suit under her clothes when they were on missions. It made things easier for them all in situations where costumes and disguises were required.

She'd be down to it before he could stop her so he didn't bother trying. Kakashi looked back at Minato. "I'm _not_ wearing that."

"But, Kakashi-kun, we _have_ to; it's for the mission," Rin reasoned, pulling her shirt up over her head. Her short brown hair came free of the collar and poofed out, several strands sticking up and floating in the air, buoyant from the static.

"It looks like something Gai would wear." Kakashi told her flatly, "In other words, it's _hideous_." There was no way he was going to put the ridiculous looking outfit on. Even if they were a thousand miles away from Konoha and it was unlikely that he would see anyone in Snow country again he'd still refuse. Not even in the darkest caves of Lightning country would he be caught dead in _that_.

An almost indiscernible smirk tugged at Minato's lips. "Rin's right. It's _required_ for the mission. You _have_ to wear it."

"No." The mission wasn't going anywhere he liked. He'd rather face a hundred crazed missing-nin than put on the ugly green catastrophe that his sensei was still holding out expectantly, like he was going to suddenly change his mind and take it. "What does dressing up as Gai have to do with the mission?" He _really_ wanted to know who was stupid enough to think that up. Maybe then he could return Gai to his long lost family and if they were this far away maybe he'd never have to see his self-declared _'eternal rival'_ again.

"Here, it's a part of their Christmas traditions," Minato explain, a soft chuckle escaping him. "There's 'Santa Claus' who is fat, old, smiles a lot, and dresses in red. Then, there's his elves who wear green and are just as jolly. They go around sneaking into homes and giving all of the good little boys and girls toys for Christmas." He shook the suit and a soft jingling sound came from the pointy hat clipped to it. A silver bell bounced from where it was pinned to the tip. "The daimyo of Snow Country is paying a lot of money to have us dress up and deliver toys. We can't disappoint him and all of those kids just because you don't want to look a little silly."

"That's stupid." Kakashi crossed his arms.

"We can do this the easy way and you can put it on, _or_ we can do it the hard way and I can put it on you." Minato grinned wickedly, a definite glint in his eye. "If I have to, Rin will have to help me."

Kakashi eyed Rin, who was now fully dressed in the goofy looking elf costume.

Her eyes were wide and hopeful. She was practically rubbing her hands together in glee at the thought.

Kakashi shivered. Teenage girls were scary. It was like some switch in their brain flipped and they went from reasonable teammates who tried to keep you from killing the other boys you got teamed up with to insane ones who tried to grope you when you were sparring. She had tried. He'd have liked to believe it was just her, but he'd seen that same look on Kurenai and Suzume's face before. The worst part was they all _thought_ that they looked innocent. They didn't. They were all crazy.

Turning back to Minato, Kakashi snatched the jumpsuit from him. "Fine! But if either of you tell Gai I wore anything this stupid looking, then I _will_ kill you in your sleep."


	2. The Proper Utilization of Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genma makes sure that Hayate has a little fun over the holidays.

Genma shifted the bag on his shoulder and mentally ticked off the number of rooms he'd been in already. If he was right, the next was the last on his list. He knew it was fairly likely that his teammates, Raidou and Hoheto, were already done with their share. They really didn't know how to take a break when they were given one. Delivering toys to the kids in the hospital was clearly his sensei's way of saying they could take it easy, so he was, and it wasn't his problem if they didn't.

Sliding the door open, he slipped inside.

The kid had his hair hair tucked under a tightly knotted bandana and was surrounded by scrolls, books, and loose paper. "Hi." He didn't look up.

"Hey, I mean uh ho ho ho." Genma chuckled and pulled the box out. "Merry Christmas from the Hokage--" He looked at the name on the box, "Hayate," he finished, grinning and tossing the small box on the bed.

The boy looked up finally, smiled, and set the scroll he was holding aside. "Thanks." He picked the box up and set it aside, then picked the scroll back up.

Genma cocked an eyebrow and flicked the senbon in his mouth around with his tongue. "You're not going to open it?"

Hayate shrugged. "Maybe later."

"You're going to sit here doing what, studying, instead of opening a present?" Genma flopped onto the end of the bed.

Hayate nodded. "I want to graduate with my class."

Leaning over, Genma peered at the content of the books. "Academy kiddo?"

"Second year," Hayate confirmed, making a note in the margin of one of the books. "I keep ending up in here, though."

"Ah well, pretty sure one day of fun wouldn't kill you or keep you from graduating." He pushed the box towards the kid and smirked. "Open it; bet it's something cool." The hokage, despite being far too old to know what was currently considered cool, had gotten gifts that were perfect for each kid. All the presents had been well received.

As if on command, Hayate broke down into a fit of coughing. Coughs wracked his whole body. He leaned forward, hunched up from the force of them.

Genma frowned. If he'd been anyone else he might have questioned his last statement, but instead the coughing fit confirmed his belief that the kid needed to lighten up a bit. Reaching over he banged on Hayate's back.

The coughing subsided, and Hayate sucked in air roughly.

"Alright, now that that's out of the way, open your gift or I will." He picked the box back up and dropped it into the kid's lap again.

After shaking his head and drawing in a somewhat trembly breath, Hayate pulled at the ribbon. Slowly and with unsteady hands, he opened it.

Genma pulled a kunai out and cut the tape.

Hayate lifted the flaps of the box and peered inside.

Leaning over, Genma followed suit. He was curious what the hokage had gotten the boy. Inside were the very low level explosive tags that pre-genin used for training, firecrackers, mandarin oranges, mochi, pocky, a book on swordsmanship, and a piece of paper with the Sandaime's neat penmenship.

_Hayate-kun~_

_When you graduate, there is a sword that goes with the book. Never give up. Please feel free to visit me if you would like to see it, and in the mean time, enjoy your holiday._

_~Sarutobi Hiruzen_

He had to admit that the old man was smart. The sword was a nice gift, and if Sandaime was giving it to the kid, it meant the kid had the talent for it. Genma smiled and picked up one of the explosive tags. "Hmm... That old man appreciates creativity, so why don't we see what we can come up with for these?" He winked.

An hour later, they were out of mochi, oranges, _and_ explosive tags. Three nurses had been sent up to scold them, and every time Genma had disappeared with all traces of their mischief. They hadn't hurt anyone and had only splattered a few with orange juice, its pulp, and the remnants of the bean cake. It had been good for a laugh and seeing Hayate smile was definitely worth more. Genma would have to remember to visit the kid more often and teach him more about how to properly relax.

He made that decision while sucking on a stick of pocky and grinning like an idiot while his teammates grilled him on what took him so long.


	3. Special Little Snowflake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka teaches Kakashi that you don't have to actually know or use a jutsu to make it snow.

Iruka reached into the bucket and pulled out a handful of white and silver confetti paper.  Peering over the edge of the balcony he watched, waiting for the right moment.  It was cold this late in the year, and his uncovered fingers shook a little despite the clear sky.  Already it was late afternoon, and the shadows stretched long and far from the buildings. His own was lost in that of his building's.  A couple of pieces slipped free of his grasp and drifted away on the breeze.

The young boy with silver hair who was, by Iruka's best guess, barely a teen walked solemnly down the street.

He knew the boy, or at least he knew who he was.  The boy was a shinobi.  Iruka had seen him walking with Namikaze-sama.  He was also fairly sure that he'd heard his parents refer to the boy as Kakashi Hatake, and they'd said something about him being Namikaze-sama's student.  By Iruka's reckoning that meant the boy was a shinobi and probably a good one.  Even if he had not known about the connection, he'd have known because of the engraved metal plate on the headband that was slanted over the young teen's left eye.  Only shinobi were allowed to wear those.  Iruka knew them on sight, and like every hopeful academy student, he hoped that one day soon he would be allowed to wear one.

The boy, Kakashi, had his nose buried in a brightly colored book and was quite obviously _not_ paying attention to him.   _That_ was important, so it was good that he wasn't.

Iruka waited, patiently gripping the papers in his hand, until Kakashi was about five feet from their balcony, and then he dropped the papers over the edge.  He tossed another quick handful of the glittery paper over, then dropped down out of sight.

 _'One... two... three...'_ Iruka grinned as he counted. On 'three' he heard it, the barely there sound of a shinobi's feet hitting the edge of the balcony. It was even softer than the sound of his parents coming home, but he heard it.

Iruka grinned and looked up.

Crouched on the edge of the balcony above him was the boy.  Most of the boy's face was covered either by a blue mask or the headband and only a single, dark-gray eye stared down at him.  The silver hair was sprinkled with bits of silver and white paper and it sparkled with glitter.

Even with only the one eye visible Iruka could tell the boy was irritated.

"Why did you do that?" Kakashi asked, his voice sharp, annoyed, and colder than the weather.

Iruka giggled, pulled a handful of the confetti from his bucket and threw it up into the air.  "I'm making it snow!"

Kakashi shook his head.  Paper and glitter came free of his hair and drifted down with the rest.  "That's not snow."

"Is so."  Grinning, Iruka threw another handful into the air.  "See! It's snowing!"

"No, it's not," Kakashi retorted petulantly.

Standing, Iruka grinned wider. "Is so!"

Kakashi leaned forward and narrowed his visible eye, glaring at Iruka.  "Is not.  That's not snow.  I've _seen_ snow."

Grabbing another handful of paper Iruka stood on his tip toes and dropped it right onto Kakashi's head.  "Is so!"

"Is not!" Kakashi yelled back, rubbing his hands through his hair and sending the confetti flying in every direction.

"Is so!" Iruka insisted.

The gray eye was turned back on him, the anger in it obvious and unrestrained.  "Is not!"

"Yu huh!" He stuck his tongue out and threw another handful up.

"Nu uh!" Kakashi shouted. He reached out and yanked the bucket away. "You're dumb.  Snow comes from the clouds not a bucket."

Iruka crossed his arms and smirked.  "Yeah?  Well at least I can make it snow."

The mask twitched, one lip pushing at the fabric in what was clearly a pout.  "I can, too."

"Yeah right," Iruka scoffed.

Kakashi shoved the bucket into Iruka's arms, stood up on the balcony ledge, and quickly formed several seals.  A moment later white bits floated down around them. "SEE! That's snow!"

"I told you I could make it snow," Iruka laughed.  He promptly stuck his tongue out and attempted to catch a snowflake on it.

The single gray eye went wide with sudden understanding and not a little chagrin, and then Kakashi slapped a hand over his face.

"Well, I _did_ plan all of this, so it looks like I'm not so stupid after all, huh?" Iruka pointed out, feeling more than a bit smug.

A soft chuckle came from Kakashi a moment before he reached out and grabbed the bucket back.  "Idiot," he laughed, and then promptly dropped the bucket upside down over Iruka's head.

Iruka laughed and lifted it off.

Kakashi was gone. Only a few leaves drifting in the breeze with the snowflakes and two bare spots on the ledge that was now liberally dusted with snow gave away that he'd even been there.

"What are you doing Iruka-chan?"

Spinning around, Iruka dropped the bucket and rubbed his hands through his hair. He put on his best 'innocent' smile.

His mother leaned against the balcony door.  "Well?"

Iruka grinned up at her.  "Making it snow."

Laughing, she shook her head and cocked an eyebrow at him.  "By irritating Kakashi-kun into doing it for you, hmm?"

His cheeks warmed and Iruka ducked his head.  "Uh..."

She laughed.  "Good.  Minato-san was just telling me how that boy could use a reminder on how to be a kid."  Reaching over, she ruffled Iruka's hair.  "I don't think anyone will mind if you keep reminding him that he is one," she laughed.  Turning, she walked back inside.

Iruka smiled, relieved that he wasn't in trouble.  Snow continued to drift down around him, and he settled back down to draw in it with a fingertip.  It rarely snowed in Konoha, and Iruka hadn't been old enough to _really_ remember the last time that it had.  There were a few pictures from when he was two of him playing in it, but it was only the faintest of memories.  He hoped the jutsu would last long enough he could build something like a small snowman with it.


	4. Dinner With The Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with the family is always chaotic and always entertaining, at least for Hiruzen

Asuma leaned back in his chair, propped his feet up on the edge of the table, and crossed his arms. The chaos continued around him, uninterrupted by his lack of interest in joining it.

There were countless shinobi there, acting as both staff and body guards to his father, and they hurried to and fro carrying trays of food and drink. The holidays always required his father, as hokage, to host dinners for the heads of the shinobi families.

Conversations drifted around him, none of which, surprisingly, contained any discussion of politics. This was the nice, shinobi only, event. There would be another with the council that would be more formal, and a third with the Daimyo and various Land of Fire nobles. Those would be rife with politics. Even under the pleasantries, there would be the quiet calculating of words and actions. He hated those. This... this was okay. Chaotic, but okay. It felt more like a family gathering even if most of the people present weren't exactly related. The ties of blood between them, while strained at times, were both different and far stronger than that of family.

It was always chaotic though, and Asuma would have greatly preferred a nice quiet dinner with just his father and brother. He couldn't say that it was all bad; his brother seemed to love it, and it was at least mildly entertaining.

His older brother continued attempting to shoo all of the kids towards the room that they were supposed to be in.

Two of the kids shot off in one direction while a third dove under the table, and the fourth squealed and bolted towards the kitchen.

His brother laughed and wisely chose to go after the fourth.

Asuma shook his head, rolled his eyes, and smiled softly.

"They love Atsuo."

His father's voice came from behind and slightly to the left of him. Asuma nodded. "I think that's why Miyo likes him so much." His brother's girlfriend seemed to want a dozen of the little, squealy things. At least that was the way it looked to him given that she took every mission she could to assist at the academy.

"Some day they'll have one of their own to chase," Hiruzen agreed. "And shortly after that--" his father's tone took on a note of amusement. "--you and Kurenai will too."

Asuma's face warmed. He twisted around violently, looking up at his father, and causing the back legs of the chair to slide forward, toppling him to the ground with a loud bang.

Every eye in the place turned to him and his father.

His father stood there serene as ever, the barest hint of a smile on his lips.

Asuma glowered up at him.

The table cloth lifted up, and the little girl who'd crawled under the table peeked out at him. "Aw! Poor 'Suma-kun," she cooed, crawling over. She kissed his cheek and grinned. "There all better!" she announced proudly.

"Looks like Kurenai has some competition," his father chuckled softly.

The room erupted into laughter.

 _That_ drew even more heat to Asuma's cheeks, and he huffed out a breath before picking himself up. "I'm outta here," he muttered, shoving his hands in his pocket and heading for the door.

"Tell Kurenai hello for me," his father teased lightly.

Asuma shoulders tightened, and he stiffened, then shoved himself past the guest and out the door. He didn't intend to tell Kurenai _anything_ his father had said. Not even if he _was_ going to see her.


	5. Anywhere But Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ibiki gets assigned to the academy

Shinobi liked Christmas, but somehow, despite repeated attempts by the Hokage to explain to them that affection was _really not_ best displayed with random acts of insanity and pranks, all shinobi seemed to collectively think that it was. More over, when pre-genin saw their parents doing things like tying each other up in garlands or Christmas lights it was hard if not impossible for anyone to convince them otherwise.

Ibiki had fully expected to have to deal with more than a few cases of Christmas spirit gone awry from the minute that he'd been assigned to assist the teachers at the academy for the holiday season. There was simply no getting away from the possibility and no getting out of the assignment. Nobody wanted to deal with it, and so any genin not on a mission tended to get stuck with it. Because his sensei was a T&I specialist, Ibiki wasn't out on missions as often as some of his graduating class. He also suspected his sensei had a bit of an evil streak and thought it was funny to watch his team have to deal with the kids. It wouldn't have surprised him to catch the man watching them with that stupid smirk on his face.

Suzume got the easy job of dealing with the youngest shinobi class. They were still in that stage of idealizing even the genin and often followed them around like hopeful puppies.

Tonbo got assigned to the class with the teacher capable of dealing with him _and_ her class.

Ibiki wasn't entirely sure that his teammate should have ever graduated, let alone that he would be of much help to the teacher.

Those two factors directly affected his own assignment. He got stuck with the trouble makers. Daichi-sensei had fed him some line of crap about how he was the most intimidating and therefore the best equipped to deal with them. He'd also insisted that it would be good for Ibiki to learn a little patience.

Ibiki didn't agree on the latter, and the former, while possibly true, had nothing at all to do with him being assigned and he knew it. Worse, he knew Daichi-sensei knew it. His sensei was just an ass who liked to find new and unusual ways to torture him. He would have rather had a mission _anywhere_ else. Even cleaning the trash from one of the marshes or trimming the vines in the forbidden forest would have been better.

It wasn't bad until Kimura-sensei left him in charge of weapons practice while she escaped to 'grade papers' and likely regain some of her sanity by getting as far away from her class as possible.

Ibiki had never claimed to be good with kids. Being a 'kid' himself did not in any way, shape, or form change that. He'd always been the type who'd gotten along better with adults, and the closest he came to getting along with his peers was not strangling his teammates.

After the third 'stray' kunai, the second attempt by Iruka to show up Kotetsu and Izumo by racing them up the wall, and no less than five escape attempts by Anko, Iwashi, and the kid who's name he couldn't remember, Ibiki was more than ready to tie them all up and be done with it.  The noise level alone was enough to drive a sane man to murder.

Irritated, Ibiki drew in a deep breath and then let it out in one loud bellow. "Quiet!" 

Twenty-four bright-eyed pre-genin turned to look at him.

He glowered.

They blinked up at him, all false innocence and charm.

He growled and pointed to the floor in front of him. "If you talk out of turn, I will put a silencing jutsu on you and leave it on you. If you look at me wrong, I will blindfold your ass and let your classmates use YOU as a moving target. If you move without my express permission, I will introduce you to techniques my sensei uses as the head of T&I. And if you do anything I don't like I will make sure your shinobi record, should you even graduate, doesn't allow for you to get anything above the shittiest of D-ranks. I _will_ make your life a living hell _forever_."

Twenty-four little mouths fell open, and twenty-four pairs of eyes went wide.

He was feeling quite proud of himself until those twenty-four students all looked up, and he realized he had twenty-six students in the class. Two were missing. More specifically, he realised that the two missing were Anko and Iruka. Ibiki sighed, closed his eyes for a moment, and then looked up.

Even with his shinobi reflexes he didn't have time to move. One second the giant wobbly blue blob was falling towards him, and the next bright blue paint splashed over him.

Anko and Iruka simultaneously burst into laughter, followed quickly by the rest of the class.

Ibiki wiped the paint from his eyes and glared up at them. "Get. Down. Here. Now." 

Iruka bolted for the wall.

Still laughing her ass off, Anko moved to follow, and then her chakra faltered and her hold on the ceiling with it. She plummeted towards the ground. 

Ibiki didn't think; he just moved. He transported to the climbing rope between her and Iruka. One hand closed around the rope and the other around her wrist.

She blinked up at it, shock written on her face.

The class, especially Iruka, cheered.

Ibiki hauled her up and sighed. "I'm so tying you up next time."

Red stained her cheeks, and she grinned at him. "Promise?"

Rolling his eyes, Ibiki sighed. She was obviously going to be a pain in his ass, and once his sensei got wind of the incident, it was unlikely he'd be able to get a mission anywhere else before the new year.


	6. Controlling The Fox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikoto and Kushina wrapping Christmas presents and a reflection on their friendship.

"I hate this!" Kushina screamed, sticking her finger in her mouth and sucking on it. Grabbing a kunai, she stabbed at the wrinkled paper, anger vibrating through her. "Stupid, fucking paper! If you don't start _fucking_ cooperating I will burn down an entire forest in revenge!" Her hair lifted around her, little bubbles of the fox demon's chakra seeping out in her irritation and lifting the red strands like they were its nine tails.

Mikoto snickered softly under her breath and shook her head. "And the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero strikes the Christmas presents and all those who stand between her and her peaceful holiday dead over a _paper cut_."

Kushina narrowed her eyes at her best friend and waved the kunai threateningly in her direction. "More like over a _thousand_ paper cuts, and it _deserves_ to _die_!"

Laughing out-right, Mikoto rolled her eyes and then reached over and took the kunai away. "Give me that before you hurt yourself, _again_." She tucked it behind her and then brushed her long, black hair back over her shoulder. "We're just lucky that fox chakra heals you and keeps you from bleeding all over everything."

Turning her head away, Kushina stuck her lower lip out. She puffed her cheeks out with an audible and childish 'Hmph'. She crossed her arms, and her hair 'lashed'.

Most would have assumed it was due to true anger because of the Fox's chakra bleeding through. Mikoto knew better. She knew Kushina, and she knew her friend had such perfect control over the fox that she used his chakra like it was her own. The _display_ was very much that. It was like a three-year-old having a tantrum and holding their breath. It was there to get your attention. In front of most people, Kushina didn't do such things- it was something she did only around her closest friends.

Reaching over, Mikoto tugged on one of Kushina's 'tails'. "How about _I_ wrap the presents, and _you_ tie the bows.

Kushina eyed her cautiously. "You're just doing this so we won't have to go out and get more paper..."

Brushing her fingers through the red hair, Mikoto nodded. "Now stop squinting those pretty blue eyes and start tying bows." She smirked. "Unless of course you want me to go tell Minato that you like it when he peeks on you at the bath house and what you really want for Christmas is just him all tied up in a bow."

A bright flush colored the pale cheeks, and the blue eyes went wide. Kushina looked away, smacked lightly at Mikoto's hand, and reached for the ribbon. "Fine."

Moments like these reminded Mikoto that it was _fate_ that they were best friends. Uchiha and Jinchuuriki always were. Ever since Madara had first beaten the Fox, it had been a fact. They were drawn to each other. She might not have Madara's abilities, but she could definitely control the _fox_ sitting beside her.


	7. The Mishaps Of Miswrapped Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are two presents left, both unlabeled, but which is really meant for Minato?

"Ah..." Minato's cheeks warmed, and he cleared his throat. "I think that was meant for me."

Genma cocked an eyebrow and grinned over at him. "Really? How can you tell?" He picked at the tape lazily. The bright orange paper crinkled in his hands.

"I know Jiraiya-sensei's handiwork when I see it and if--"  Minato frowned, "--he gave a sixteen year old _that_ , then even I would have to kill him." They package was oddly cylindrical with two bulges at the base. It was unlabeled, but so was the only other gift left on the table. The small, neatly wrapped box was far less conspicuous.

"I don't think-" Genma started.

"Trust me." Minato cut him off with a smile. "It's his sense of humor, and while I am sure that you are well aware of... _things_ you'd be better off with whatever _that_ is."

"If you say so, Namikaze-san." Handing the package over, Genma laughed and grabbed the other.

He sighed relieved. Minato wasn't an idiot, but sometimes he worried about the mental state of his sensei. He peeled the paper back, careful not let the contents become visible to anyone around him. His jaw dropped, and he pulled the paper the rest of the way off.

Nothing but a scroll case and some cleverly placed medicine balls lay inside the paper.

"Wow, you were right. I _do_ like this gift better," Genma laughed, holding the book up and peering over at Minato's present.

The book was an erotica with a naked girl crouching with her knees splayed and a hand across her chest and between her legs right on the cover.

Minato groaned and then promptly grabbed for the book. His fingers closed on smoke and leaves, and he sighed. Of course, the one time Jiraiya would choose subtlety would be now.


	8. Armaments vs Ornaments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi is very resourceful and determined, particularly when there is evidence of him being anything even resembling ridiculous

"Ah, but my Eternal Rival you should not aim that there," Gai leapt back, dodging the projectile by centimeters. "You would not wish to accidentally destroy your Precious Teachers Most Wonderous Gift and Cherished Memory!"

Kakashi yanked another of the decorative, glass icicle off of over-sized Christmas Tree that graced the front of the Hokage Tower. "Gai, if you don't give that to me I'll fill _you_ full of holes along with it!" He wondered how his sensei had gotten those pictures without him knowing it. It annoyed him that Minato had actually shown Gai the humiliating costume after he'd said not to.

Shaking his head, Gai dodge the ornament which hit the wall under his feet and shattered. Sparks or lightning chakra making each shard glow. "I cannot! Namikaze-sama gave me strict instructions not to do so, and it is my Honorable Holiday Mission to preserve this Precious Moment until he returns!" 

"Don't worry, there won't be anyone to get mad at you, cause I'll kill him when he gets back!" Not that he actually could, but it sounded good and maybe it would get Gai to cough up the thing. He was _never_ letting Minato talk him into anything stupid again. _'Stupid Sensei.'_

Wrapping his hand around the string of lights that was hung along the wall, Kakashi yanked. It came free, snapping  where it caught on a nail. More lightning chakra spilled down the line of bulbs, each one exploding with a bright flash. "Give me that photo album, NOW!" He flicked his wrist and cracked the whip aiming for Gai's feet.

"Ri--" Gai sprang up and over the impromptu whip. "--val, I think you must have misunderstood the word 'ornament' and I do regret to inform you, but there is very much an 'o' and not an 'a' at the beginning."

Kakashi cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Well they work quite well as either," he ground it out, swinging the whip again. The lights were almost better than kunai and shuriken that had been hung among the far more normal ornaments like glass bulbs and gingerbread men.

Gai didn't manage to dodge the back-swing and the whip tangled around his feet.

Giving the rope of lights a hard yank, Kakashi pulled him from the wall to the ground with a very loud thud.

The book flew from Gai's hands. "Umph!"

Kakashi glared at Gai and strode over to the book. "Don't _ever_ tell _anyone_ about these pictures. Or else."

Gai smiled weakly, his usual sparkle missing. "You should not be ashamed, you looked most Youthful in the Festive costume."

Picking the book up, Kakashi growled. "I don't care." Turning, he stormed away, leaving Gai to untangle himself. He had to find a way to destroy the evidence and hunt down Rin to find out if there were copies _before_ Minato got home.


	9. Garish Illuminations And The Hokage Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinobi are superstitious creatures and Konoha is no different

Ibiki had been waiting for a good five minutes for _at least_ one of the chunin assigned to the mission desk to actually show up. Supposedly they were _all_ out for dinner. He didn't care, he just wanted to turn in his report and get home so the girl babysitting his baby brother could go home.

He leaned on the desk, crossed his arms, and stared at the door. It was the only place, really, _to_ stare without being accosted by garish lights and badly done decorations that seemed to be everywhere in the Hokage tower. 

Honestly even the door wasn't _entirely_ safe from the horrors of the holidays. The frame had ribbon and evergreen boughs nailed to it with kunai, shuriken, and senbons. Where the Yamanaka's had managed to even _find_ the wretched stuff was beyond him. The only place he knew of in Fire Country that had evergreens was along the border with Mountain Country, surely they hadn't gone that far and chopped down what appeared to he half a forest just to decorate doorways.

Hanging center along the top of the door frame was mistletoe. Ibiki had been very deliberate in making sure that nobody had been around the door way when he entered. The superstition that you had to kiss under the mistletoe or you would suffer a painful and poisonous death wasn't a superstition that _he_ bought into, but most shinobi did and he'd rather like to avoid being accosted by anyone if at all possible. It was beyond him why they would bother hanging the stuff up when they had such a superstition. Likely it was somebody's idea of a joke.

As if summoned, there was the clear and unmistakable sound of people coming down the hall. One yelling things about youthfullness, meaning quite obviously Gai, and the other yelling for him to shut up, meaning Kakashi.

Ibiki snorted under his breath. Despite how it might look to most Ibiki was quite sure Gai was a good influence on Kakashi. He really needed to learn to relax and a normal, at least if you could consider Gai normal, friend was good for him. The fact that Gai clearly cared about Kakashi without having ulterior motives like his teammate made it that much better. More over the two of them put up with each other when others were less prone to do so. Kakashi's attitude problems did little to endear him to most and Gai's over-the-top...ness made it hard for people to see anything deeper.

The two stepped into the doorway and stopped.

"Ibiki-kun!" Gai grinned at him. "I did not expect to see you here!"

Kakashi stared at Ibiki for a long moment, his fingers gripping a small, brown-leather book. "What are you doing here?"

"I believe my rival means to ask if you know where the chunin who are currently assigned to the mission desk are!" Gai's usual smile was strained and he shot Kakashi a glance. "He would Most Desperately like to take a mission off of my hands! I, however, Cannot allow it and while I do Greatly Appreciate his Enthusiasm and Assistance I am quite capable of completing my mission without his help!"

Ibiki cocked an eyebrow. Gai talked a _lot_. He shrugged. "They're not here."

The silver line of Kakashi's eyebrow that wasn't covered by his headband dropped lower.

Even with the mask covering the lower half of his face and leaving only the one eye visible, Ibiki knew Kakashi was glaring at him. Ibiki rolled his eyes and then smirked. It would be entertaining to see if Kakashi was as superstitious as a lot of other shinobi.

"What?" The glare didn't falter.

Ibiki tipped his head up very slightly and raised his eyes momentarily to the mistletoe. "You know what they say about _not_ kissing under the mistletoe."

Gai looked up and then grinned. "We seem to have been caught by the Christmas Spirit, Rival!" he laughed.

Kakashi's eye closed and he took a deep, visible breath. "No where in that does it say I have to kiss _you_ , Gai."

"Ah, but--" His voice dropped to a normal level. "--if you do not we will be unable to leave to find the resolution to your problem."

Apparently, _Gai_ was superstitious. Ibiki wasn't overly surprised.

"I would rather die." Despite the statement, Kakashi didn't move out from under the mistletoe.

Gai blinked. "I..."

Ibiki frowned. He hadn't thought that Kakashi would be quite _that_ big of an ass about it and the fact that Gai was clearly bothered by it made Ibiki want to deck Kakashi. He didn't only because he knew _why_ Kakashi was a socially inept retard from reading the files Daichi-sensei had on him. If he hadn't seen the reports from Daichi-sensei and other older ones he might have. Instead he just felt sorry for Kakashi and Gai both. There was nothing he could do for Kakashi, but Gai...

"We shall both wait here then until a couple of Beautiful Young Girls come to turn in their mission reports and then we shall show them--" Gai grinned and waggled his eyebrows. "--our Youthful and Passionate Holiday Spirit!"

The cover was near perfect and perhaps if Ibiki hadn't seen the look a moment before or if he'd been anyone else he might have believed it. As it was neither of those were true, the usual sparkle seemed gone, and the smile seemed forced to him.

Ibiki uncrossed his arms and walked over to the two other young teens. "If you both stand in that doorway it will be impossible for anyone to get through even a girl our age." With that he leaned over and kissed Gai's cheek.

Even with the mask on, Kakashi's surprise was obvious. His eyebrow shot up until it was invisible under his headband and the usual irritated glare was replaced with wide-eyed shock.

Gai looked equally stunned. His black, bushy brows had disappeared under the bangs of his bowl cut, his entire face was turning a bright red, and for once he was silent.

It was hard not to laugh at the two of them. "I'd offer you one, Kakashi, but I rather like my jaw intact." He smirked and pushed Gai out the door. "Come on, you can help me find our wayward chunin." Ibiki had no doubt that Kakashi would find plenty of people who were willing and likely eager for a kiss, it'd just be up to him to get past whatever issue he was having and give them one. Or he could stand in the doorway until the mistletoe dried up and fell off sometime next month.


	10. Myth Under The Mistletoe

Kakashi leaned to one side, looking as far down the hallway as he could see. Still nobody. He'd been standing there for a good forty-five minutes too.

 _'I should just leave, it's not like that stupid superstition is true, anyway._ He shifted his weight to his other foot and sighed. The clock on the wall ticked slowly and he could hear the faint sounds of people shuffling around upstairs. He closed his eyes. It didn't matter that there wasn't a jutsu on the stupid, little berries there might as well have been because he could seem to make himself move. "It's not real. I can move, it's not true." He chanted those lines like they would make his feet suddenly move. 

"What's not true?"

At the sound of the kid's voice, Kakashi opened his eyes, turned, and looked with the one that wasn't covered by his hitae-ate.

The annoying little pre-genin who'd tricked him into making snow stood there smiling at him. "Well?" The kid reached up and rubbed at the fairly new scar that bisected his nose and cheeks. The pink skin crinkled slightly where he touched it.

"Huh?" Kakashi blinked, his brain back-peddling and looking for an answer to the question.

"You said something wasn't real."

 _'Oh, yeah.'_ Kakashi pointed up.

The kid looked up. "It looks real to me so what's not true then?"

Kakashi felt his cheeks warm. "It's just a silly superstition, but..." It was silly and he believed it. At least nobody was around to see him trapped by it. "If you get caught under the mistletoe with somebody you have to kiss or you will both die a painful, poisonous death on your next mission."

"So... you're standing under it why?" He cocked an eyebrow, confusion clear in the expression. "Are you _trying_ to get kissed or trying to get poisoned?"

"I got caught under it with a friend and somebody else we know kissed him, but I'm..." Kakashi felt his cheeks warm further. "I'm stuck."

"Oh!" Iruka laughed and then promptly leaned over and kissed Kakashi's lips through the mask. "There."

Kakashi's entire face burned and he looked away. "Thank you." He stepped out of the doorway and into the mission room.

"Thanks for the snow. I'm Iruka by the way."

"Ka- kashi..." He chewed on his lip and snuck a glance at the kid, Iruka.

"I know." Iruka's cheeks pinked slightly. "You're kind of famous."

"Oh, yeah..." He didn't generally forget things like the fact that most people knew him because of the reasons for that, but at least Iruka hadn't called him _in_ famous. "So... what are you doing here?"

Smiling, Iruka held up a large bento box. "My mom sent me. I'm bringing the chunins that work the mission desk candies and cookies that she made. She says it's important to thank the people who do all of the boring, leg work."

"They're not here."

"I'd leave it but I'm supposed to bring the bento back." Iruka made a face and wrinkled his nose. "Do you want one? We could eat some while we wait for them to get back."

His cheeks warmed even more, but Kakashi nodded. He didn't like sweets all that much, but at least he wouldn't have to wait alone. It also occurred to him that when they went to leave that it would be at the same time. "Okay."


	11. I Saw It FIRST!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle for the perfect gift doesn't always end in success.

Just like she planned, the toned down explosive tag went off with only enough power to produce a shit ton of smoke, distracting three old ladies. They stopped fighting and complaining about the customer service to cough long enough that Anko was able to slip past them.

It was nothing to move a few things from one lady's basket to another's, and it took no time at all for her to notice. The fact that she was unhappy about the apparent theft was obvious, and it was _not_ lessened just because there was still an entire shelf of the paper used for explosive tags.

The vial of liquid squeezed from the stems of the weeds she and Iruka had discovered that smelled and looked like baby vomit was sacrificed in redirecting the attentions of the mother with the infant and the three-year-old. It also, to Anko's glee, made the bright-eyed, little girl grin and giggle. Anko figured she must find the stinky baby being even stinkier entertaining. _She_ would if it was her little brother. Or Iruka.

The distraction allowed her to slip past, and a quick foot to the back of some loud mouth guy landed her directly in front of the goal.

The kunai and shuriken kit lay neatly on the shelf, each piece tied securely to the black canvas holder. They were the current favorite with the jounin and hard to come by because, unlike the standard set, they had a newly developed jutsu placed on them. It made them lighter, stronger, and easy to find since the user could attune them to their own chakra. They were also matte black and didn't reflect light.

They were also hard to produce, which as a result made them hard to come by and extraordinarily expensive. Generally pre-genin couldn't afford them, _but_ Anko had been saving all year for one thing, and this was it. Her gift for her best friend, Iruka.

Smiling, she reached for them and... her fingers closed on air. Her eyes shot up, locking on the boy perched atop the shelf with the kit closed up in one hand.

The silver hair, the way his hitai-ate was slanted over one eye, and the blue mask covering the lower half of his face gave away who he was immediately.   
"I saw it first, Hatake, give it back!" She growled.

He stared at her lazily. "Or what?"

Anko made a snatch for the case, only to have it pulled further out of her reach. "Or I'll kick your ass, that's what!"

He looked at the case, looked at her, and yawned. "Have fun with your shopping." Kakashi's visible eye closed, crinkling at the corner. He raised his hand and tilted it to the side in a quick wave before forming a hand sign and teleporting away in a puff of smoke.

"Oooh, I'm going to kill that Hatake!" Anko fumed and kicked the stand. It was too crowded for her to just chase him down while he paid; she'd have had to fight her way back through the crowd. She was now low on supplies and giftless. "Stupid, Hatake!"


	12. Traditions Are Important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traditions are important and they're meant to be shared so that they can be continued. Anko is not all that great at sharing however.

"What is _he_ doing here?" Anko ground her teeth together and did her damnedest to mimic her mother's most threatening glare; lips pressed tightly together, eyebrows down and arms crossed.

She and Iruka had a Christmas Eve tradition of meeting in one of the caves of the Hokage Monument to watch the fireworks. The top would be crowded with civilians and shinobi alike, but the caves, particularly the very small one that they had discovered which required them to crawl through a hole and up a ledge, were generally empty. They had been coming there together for three years, ever since they first discovered the place. It was _their_ cave and _their_ tradition. Right now there seemed to be confusion as to the details of that tradition. Namely the detail that it involved Iruka and herself _only_.

Iruka giggled.

Anko shifted her eyes to him. She hated when he did that. It was cute, and damn it she was _trying_ to be pissed right then. Reaching over, she tugged on his ponytail. "Stop that, giggling makes you look like a girl." The revenge made the fact that he'd ruined her moment a little easier to swallow.

"I didn't giggle!" Iruka pushed her lightly. "I just laughed cuz you look funny with your face all pinched up like that!"

"Not as funny as you!" It was a stupid counter, but it garnered her another shove and more _'giggling'_ from Iruka. "And you do too giggle."

"Do not!" Iruka punched her in the arm and stuck his tongue out at her.

"Do so!" She laughed and reached over to tug on Iruka's pony tail again only to have the hairs slip through her fingers when Iruka was pulled forcefully out of her reach.

Over the top of Iruka's head, Kakashi narrowed his single, visible gray eye at her.

Even with the mask and hitai-ate covering most of his face, she _knew_ he was glaring at her. The tight grip he had on Iruka's shoulders said it had something to do with her touching Iruka.

Glowering right back at him, she kicked him in his shin, grabbed _her_ Iruka's arm, and pulled.

Kakashi pulled back. "Let go of him." The words came out as a low growl.

"Ow! Hey! You two GAH!" Iruka protested, struggling to free himself. "Stop pulling on me!"

"Screw you Hatake; he was my friend first. Go away!" She kicked at him again, missed and found her feet flying towards the sky.

Her tight hold on Iruka caused him to tumble to the ground with her, and Kakashi's hold on him pulled him down as well, leaving them all in a jumbled heap.

"Ow." Iruka squirmed free of the mess. "Sheesh! What is with you two?"

Anko shoved Kakashi off of her. "It's _his_ fault." He _had_ been the one to pull Iruka away from her like he owned him or something. "Why's he here anyway?" she grumped.

"He... uhm..." Iruka's cheeks flushed a light red. "I ran into him in the mission room the other day and I... invited him." Dark brown eyes looked from her to Kakashi and back. "Anyways my mom says we should spend the holidays with friends... and... I thought... I mean..." The red on his cheeks darkened further setting the scar that ran across them off in further contrast.

Shaking her head, Anko rolled her eyes. "So, what, the famous Hatake doesn't have any so you decided to invite him to be yours?" It sounded like something Iruka would do. He was too nice.

"Uh... I..." Iruka pushed a rock through the dust on the cave floor.

Kakashi looked at Iruka. "You invited me out of pity?" His jaw tightened and his visible eyebrow dropped again. "I _don't_ need your pity." He pushed himself to his feet.

"I didn't! It wasn't that!" Iruka scrambled to his feet and stepped between Kakashi and the cave's entrance. "I don't pity you, Kakashi-san! Really! I just... I thought..." He scrubbed at the scar anxiously, his face as red as an over-ripe tomato.

Realization hit her like a slap to the face. _Her_ Iruka, her best friend, her 'little brother' had a _crush_! It took her a second to pick her jaw up off the floor and make her eyes resume their normal shape and another two or three to keep herself from laughing. She covered her mouth to smother the giggle that threatened to escape. She wouldn't laugh, not yet, maybe after Kakashi left. Then she'd probably tease the shit out of her Iruka-kun. She still didn't like him, but for Iruka's sake, she'd put up with him. "You can stay, Hatake. It's not pity; Iruka-kun is just sweet like that. He'll be friends with anyone, even you."

"It's the best view in the city." Iruka offered the information in a tone that was almost a plea.

"Yeah, just don't tell anyone." The last thing they needed was a bunch of people invading their spot. "Besides you don't want to leave before Iruka gives you your gift. He's good with gifts."

Kakashi sighed. "Fine."

Iruka pushed him over towards the ledge, and they all settled themselves down with Iruka in the middle. He shoved a package at each of them, and they each handed him one.

"You can't open it until midnight," Anko informed Kakashi before he could. "It's Tradition."

The last warm rays of the sun were fading on the horizon. Lanterns and strings lights of various colors, most numerously red and green, were lit, and slowly the lights of the village began to multiply. They sat there watching the twinkling lights and waiting patiently.

Iruka chattered on about how he was positive his mother had gotten him more chakra wire and explosive tags because his father had pushed the gifts from her into the fireplace for safety's sake. He explained how funny it was to watch her move them back under the tree, and him move them back to the fireplace over and over again.

Anko snorted at that since she was quite sure Iruka's mom would get annoyed at that. She could practically see the woman and her husband having a battle of wills over it.

"I never know what my mom will get me." Her mom thought it was a challenge to see if she could find the weirdest gift for her imaginable. Anko loved it. "Orochimaru-sensei will get me something awesome for sure, maybe he'll even teach me a new seal."

"What about you Kakashi-san?" Iruka asked cheerfully.

Kakashi shrugged. "Rin got me another medical kit. Sensei got me books."

Anko thought both sounded rather boring. "Wow," she said blandly. "Did you see them wrap it or something?"

"No." He flipped the small box around in his hands. "That's what they always get me. Except for one time, Sensei gave me a special kunai. I think he thinks that he jinxed me with it."

"Oh." Anko thought that getting the same thing every year sounded boring, but didn't say anything. She was about to ask why Namikazi-san would think he'd jinxed him when a loud _BOOM_ sounded above the village.

She was happy to note that she wasn't the only one who jumped, both Kakashi and Iruka did as well.

Laughing at the shaky feeling that being startled left in its wake, Anko reached behind Kakashi and poked him in the shoulder. "You can open your gift now."

Kakashi looked at her and Iruka and then slowly peeled the tape off, careful not to rip the paper. Inside the messily wrapped paper lay a bit of blue fabric. He picked it up and held it up. A circle of white was sewn on it with a henohenomoheji face carefully painted onto it. "What is it?"

"It's for your dog. My dad told me you have a summon that's a pug and I thought... I dunno..." Iruka scratched the back of his head and then reached out to pick up another piece of fabric, this time with a bit of metal on it. "This is for him too."

Taking the miniature headband from Iruka, Kakashi blinked. He looked at Iruka, the gifts, and then Iruka again. "Thank you."

Anko grinned. "I told you he's good at gifts!"

Kakashi nodded and closed his eye, the corner crinkling deeply.

Even she could tell that he was smiling, which was nice.

Iruka picked up the gift Kakashi had given him and ripped the paper off. Under it was a small red box which he promptly lifted the lid on. Smiling brightly, he carefully lifted the contents out.

A glass bulb filled with water covered an intricately carved figure being pulled by a dogsled.

"It's a snowglobe." Kakashi reached over, took Iruka's hand in his, and turned the globe upside down. White, glittery bits floated down from the base into the bulb. "Now you can make it snow whenever you want."

Iruka laughed and shook the globe, sending snow whirling around inside it.

Anko wasn't sure, but she thought she could make out the slightest blush on Kakashi's face just above the line of his mask. She wondered if it meant that Kakashi might have a crush too. It was all she could do not to laugh at the two of them.

He held the toy out to her. "Isn't it neat?"

"Yeah... I guess," she admitted. There was obviously some inside joke that she wasn't getting.

"Open yours!" Iruka pushed hers pointedly, practically bouncing where he sat.

Laughing, she tore the paper open on her present. Inside lay the same kit she'd tried to get for Iruka. Her heart sank, not because she didn't love the gift, but because she did and that was why she'd wanted to get it for Iruka. 

"You like it?" Iruka grinned brightly at her. "Kakashi helped me get it."

Kakashi had... he had gotten the gift for _her_. "How did-"

"I figured if you were going to get it then you must want it, so I figured it'd work for what Iruka wanted," Kakashi supplied, cutting her off.

On one hand she wanted to hit him for snatching it right in front of her, but on the other she had to admit it was kind of cool. "I..." she started, then she realized Iruka was about to open his and panicked. Anko yanked it out of his grasp. "You can't! Not yet! I..." She had to get something better.

"Not fair! You got to open yours!" Iruka pouted, reaching for the gift.

"It's not as good," she protested pulling it out of his reach.

"Whatever, I don't care, it's mine. You already gave it to me; give it back." Iruka leaned further over trying to take it back.

The box was pulled from her hands, and she fell over backwards.

Kakashi stood over her, the box in his hands. He handed it to Iruka.

Anko pouted.

Iruka tore it open. "Cool!" He pawed through the collection. "This is almost your whole collection!"

"Well yeah... what I wanted to get you was better, and this was all I could think of after it got snatched right in front of me." She couldn't very well be mad at Kakashi for it, but she wanted to be.

"You even gave me the- and the-" Iruka dug through the box excitedly.

Every prank she knew including the notebook that she wrote her ideas down in was in that box. It had scrolls that exploded with fake snakes to sealed containers of muck from the swamp in Rain country that she'd begged Orochimaru to get her. It was a prankster's complete arsenal. She'd been somewhat loath to give it up, except that it'd been for Iruka.

Kakashi leaned over. "You really thinking arming him is a good idea?"

Anko and Iruka looked up and then simultaneously busted up laughing.


End file.
